From Nandu Daily (南方都市报), a local periodical in Guangzhou, China.
Page A09, October 5, 2012
Editor: Huang Jie (黄杰)
Art Editor: Lin Yongxi (林泳希)
Art Assistant Editor: Zhu Lumin (朱卢敏)
Proofreader: Liu Junwen (刘俊文)
**Translated from the original Chinese Text.
"I Bore Him, He is My Son"
The 94-year-old Mai Ronghuan (麦容欢) has been taking care of her two mentally challenged sons for more than half a century, she said this is just a part of being a mother.
The Tranquil Life of the Three Aged Persons
The sun sets earlier when the autumn season comes. September 27, it was not yet six o'clock in the evening, but the skies over Xigubu Village, Dongfeng Town of Zhongshan City had gone dark. A ninety-four-year-old Mai Ronghuan, as usual, carried a basket and went to her vegetable plots in front of her house. Though her back is a bit bent [already], but she still can walk safely.
The vegetables in the plots looked good, Mai Ronghuan leaned down to pick and examine them. The ones whose leaves were yellow and those whose roots still had soil were taken off. The old woman said, it was she who used to plant these vegetables before, but because she is getting old, her good neighbors started to help.
When the old lady was still busy [in her work], her 72-year-old eldest son A-Man (阿满) got ten yuan (that is, 10 renminbi [RMB], approximately equivalent to US$1.50) from his mother and went to Xigubu Village Market. Although his two feet could move fast[?], but he had difficulties in moving forward -- the journey to the market is just ten minutes for ordinary people, but he finishes it in forty minutes, for his foot was severed by a car a few years ago.
A-Man, after being discharged from the hospital, was still restless, he went out everyday to go shopping; nevertheless, whenever noontime or evening came he went back home in time for their meal. According to Mai, A-Man is "smart", but he is quite lazy, moreover, his heart is a bit "wild".
In the market, A-Man went straight to a roasted meat stall. He and the stall owner (he is very familiar of A-Man) did not exchange words, the latter would just slice pieces of roasted goose, put them in a plastic bag and hand it to him, then he received 5 RMB as payment. "It goes like this every time, I know what he wants to buy even though he does not tell me," the stall owner said.
Six o'clock in the evening, by the time A-Man came home, his 68-year-old younger brother A-Fu (阿富) had already washed the vegetables. He quietly sat beside his mother. Whenever the reporter looked at him, he always smiled. In comparison with his brother, A-Fu is more of being a "house man"; he doesn't want to get out of the house. He can do almost all the household chores like dish washing, cooking and house cleaning.
The sky had turned dark. A-Fu, after being called by his mother, turned on the light and their house was illuminated instantly. A-Man, following his mother's instructions, ignites the incense and puts them in proper order, according to the position of the gods and the spirits. Quickly, the house became brighter. A-Fu [started to prepare the food, he cooked and later] a tray of vegetable was served.
Roasted goose, vegetables, and the food that was cooked moments ago, this is the dinner of this family of three. After dinner, A-Fu, as usual, served a cup of tea for his mother.
30 Years of Teaching the Sons on How to Take Care of Themselves
If we look at them, Mai's family of three is living peacefully; to us, it may seem normal. But in reality, A-Man and A-Fu both have congenital mental retardation, their level of intelligence is only equivalent to that of a child. The two siblings, from the time they were being taken care of up to this day, learned self-care, it took Mai thirty years in teaching them how.
As she went back 72 years ago, Mai was twenty years old, a time when she was still an adolescent. Under the commands of her uncle and aunt, she left a nearby village and went to Xigubu, there she married a man who is 17 years older than her. Two years after their marriage, she bore A-Man, which gave intense joy to Mai as a first-time mom. But as the child grew up, she and her husband discovered that "something is wrong", A-Man can't speak, he started to walk by his own only at age five. Later, they found out that he is mentally retarded. Mai said, she at first thought that the younger A-Fu would be a normal one, but unexpectedly he's also a retard.
Two sons are both retard, Mai said she herself could not bear it at first, especially when [she heard] other children called them "idiots", "...got angry, but later [I] gradually accepted it." Because of low intelligence, A-Man and his brother never went to school, they were just playing in the house. For this reason, the couple agreed to increase the height of the fences surrounding their house.
The two children had their naughty times also, they sometimes tried to topple the fence down to escape their way outside to play. When the temper was at its peak, Mai said she wanted to reprimand (or curse) them, but she kept on holding back, "If I reprimand them, they won't understand, I am the one who's hurt." The two children are now old, Mai said that through the past decades she did not reprimand them, not even a single sentence.
A-Man and his brother are both adults, but they still need care [and supervision] from the older ones. However, in 1982, Mai's husband passed away. After his death, then 64-year-old Mai worried that she will pass away soon, she decided to teach her two sons how to cook.
In this cooking matter, A-Man did not show any interest; but A-Fu was very willing [and eager] to learn, however, after quite a long period of time, he could not get the gist. "[At that time, when he cooks, he] puts a lot of salt; [there are some times that] he pours a little amount of water, or the food is not yet cooked..." Mai said she sometimes felt hopeless, felt that he is [too] stupid [to learn], but she saw A-Fu's eagerness to learn that's why she did not blame (or gave up on) him. Later, A-Fu learned to cook simple dishes; he even learned to wash clothes, sweep the house and [do] other household chores.
Retard Sons Learned to Take Care of Their Mother
Though she is already 94, Mai's body still seemed to be strong, her sense of hearing and memory skills are very good, but her vision is not the same as before. Some time ago, she was confined in the hospital for [the treatment of] her bones. While their mother was in the hospital for more than a month, A-Man and A-Fu were left in the house. What made the old lady pleased was, [in spite of her absence,] they were able to take care of themselves, there were also some good neighbors who helped [to look after them]. Moreover, the two had become healthier.
But, there are still other areas that they need Mai's help. Sewing buttons, cutting the nails, these might seem easy for us to do but they don't know how, they only rely on their mother [to do these for them]. Currently, Mai is still the backbone of the family, she still plans for them all.
The two sons also learned to take care of their mother. Aside from doing most of the chores, A-Fu always gives his mom a massage, serves a cup of tea and boils bath water for her everyday. While A-man, every time he wanted to go out shopping, would go to his mother to "make request". Though Mai most of the time did not understand their "yi yi ya ya" words, but when she observed A-Man's actions, she would know that he wanted to get out.
Mai said, she worried for her sons' future for a long time, but "[I] don't worry anymore." She said, her sons basically can take care of themselves; the local government some time ago helped them rebuild their old house; many good-hearted people came frequently to look after them; and, nowadays [they have] the social security pension and some financial help, if were added up, it would amount to thousands of money.
Based on what we (the reporter) understood, in the recent years, the Dongfeng Town of Zhongshan City upheld [a system] to set aside sufficient amount of government's funds to improve the quality of life of the poor, to establish [assistance programs], to [provide] social security, medicare and various allowances. Using Mai Ronghuan's family as an example, the monthly social security pension and other allowances of the three amounts to more than 4600 RMB. At the same time, the village had assigned medical personnel to conduct medical check-ups at an appointed time.
The deed of an old person taking care of two mentally challenged sons, through the reports of the media, has [become well-known,] a lot of people through numerous ways had expressed great respect for this great mother. Many people has been coming to their house to look after them. But, Mai [simply] considers her deeds as part of being a mother, "I bore him, he is my son."
Post script
"I just think of how to have a good day everyday."
Mai Ronghuan said she is happy, being taken care by her sons is enjoying life.
In the span of 94 years, Mai Ronghuan [experienced a lot of sufferings], when she was a child, [she] lost both of her parents; after marriage, she has to take care of her two mentally challenged sons; at age 64, she lost her husband; a few years ago, her obedient daughter left the earth before her.
As she recall her life, she said that she really had a life full of bitterness. But she later said that she is now happy with it. Nowadays, this old woman's life became simpler yet [she lives in] a regular pattern, she wakes up as the day starts, sleeps on the sofa in the afternoon, in the evening she watches TV. The day's three meals are basically being done by A-Fu. She said, being taken care by her sons is enjoying life.
Mai loves to smile and loves to tell stories. Recently there were a lot of reporters who came to her house, each time, she would tell her stories for a long time. If she was asked whether she was tired or not, she said she's not, not even a bit, for she becomes very happy whenever there was somebody she can talk to. In the eyes of her neighbors, good-natured Mai is deserving of respect, [saying,] "Her life is really not easy, she is already more than 90 [years of age], but she has to take care of her two sons." There was one neighbor whose surname is Ye said, "[She is] really very great, if I were on her shoes, I might send my sons to a home-for-the-aged."
Mai said, she is very happy right now, she never thought of how long she would still live, she just think of how to have a good day everyday.
>> rrj@chn_2012-10-13
